Will You Shlep To Prom With Me?

Don't ask again, you're embarrassing me.

(Breaking News) A Sherman Oaks student is in deep doo-doo for asking the Short Jewish Gal to prom during a question and answer session at Haftorah High. Eighteen-year-old Shlomo Abramowitz received a three-day in-school Suspension of Disbelief for Uncontrollable Chutzpah. The senior stood up and popped the question, then walked to the stage with a slice of kugel.  "I made it just the way you like it," Shlomo said.  "I followed your recipe and everything."  "I'm already kvelling," the SJG said.  "So, will you shlep to prom with me?" Shlomo asked. "It's at the Wailing Wall this year.  I can get us a deal on Expedia like you wouldn't believe.  Say yes, SJG." The audience cheered and clapped and broke into a spontaneous hora that lasted 10 minutes.  The SJG joined in, of course.  It would've been rude not to participate. Post-hora, the internationally-acclaimed blogger and occasionally-employed TV writer told Shlomo, "Listen, honey, I'm flattered. My own sons never asked me to go anywhere that didn't involve the drive-thru at In-N-Out. But I came here to plug my blog, not score a date."  "Can't you make an exception just this once?" Shlomo begged. "Well, I'll have to check with hubby first." But before the SJG could call her husband and get the okay to shlep to prom with Shlomo, school officials carted the boychick away.  "Sorry for this epic shanda," Principal Moses Bupkis told the SJG later.  "Shlomo is obsessed with you.  We warned him not to bother you during the Q &A, but he ignored us."  "Don't be too hard on the guy.  The heart wants what the heart wants.  The stomach, that's a whole different organ."