In Search Of A Nice Brisket

You can't fail with foil

"Brisket hotline.  What went wrong?"
"Nothing yet."
"They why are you bothering me?"
"I just wanted to know how long to cook a six pounder."
"It depends."
"On what?"
"So many things, you have no idea."
"But you do?"
"I answered the phone, didn't I?"
"Can we get back to my brisket?"
"If you insist.  Why is your brisket different from all other briskets?"
"That should be the fifth question."
"Tell me about it."
"I put mine in about four hours ago, wrapped in foil, with the onion soup mix, the ketchup, the Manischewitz, at 325 -- "
"Call me again after it's been in eight."
"Eight?  That's crazy."
"It takes a meshugana to know a meshugana."
"I'm sensing you're a little burnt out on this job."
"Hmph. What makes you such an expert?"
"What makes you one?"
"I got the job and you didn't."
"Good point.  So, you think I should leave my brisket in another four hours?"
"You could cook it ten hours, no one would know the difference."
"I'm looking to serve a tender brisket, not a radial tire."
"Good luck, doll face."
"But how will I know when to take it out?"
"Put a fork in it.  If you can remove the fork without wrenching your back, it's done."
"You've been a big help."
"I try."