Off The Market

Few people know the real reason George Clooney is officially "off the market."  All those beautiful girlfriends, and yet, George insisted he'd never marry again.  So what changed his mind?  Love?  Please.  It was a force much bigger than love.  It was a conversation with the SJG, and it went something like this:
"Hey, Georgie Boy."
"Hey, SJG.  How's it goin'?"
"Okay.  Pretty good.  Could be better."
"I know that tone.  What's up?"
"I'm feeling guilty."
"What else is new?"
"I feel like it's my fault you're still not remarried."
"Well, you did leave quite an impression on me, SJG."
"I know, I know, but it was only a two-minute conversation 20 years ago."
"You had me at 'nice to meet you.'"
"Georgie Boy, you have to get over me.  It was just a Hollywood party, not a lifetime commitment."
"But SJG, the way you looked at me... like you saw right through my soul... no one has ever looked at me that way."
"I have X-ray vision.  It's genetic."
"That is so cool."
"But Georgie Boy, it's time for me to release you from this all-encompassing spell."
"Please don't."
"Move on, Georgie Boy.  It's not healthy."
"But I can't."
"You can."
"But how?"
"Enough with the actresses and the models and the cocktail waitresses.  You need to step up your game, Georgie Boy.  You need a smart gal with her own identity.  You need an intellectual equal, not arm candy."
"Ya think?"
"I'm always right.  Just ask my sons."
"Okay, well, thanks for the call, SJG.  I feel a huge weight off my shoulders."
"You had to go with huge?"
"If I said tiny and adorable weight, would that work?"
"So much better, you have no idea."