When The CIA Tried To Recruit Me

Sometimes it's important to remember why I didn't become a CIA agent when I had the chance.  Sure, they tried to recruit me once. One day in the parking lot of Gelson's, a man approached me as I was loading the groceries in the trunk. "You look like the type of gal who can keep a secret," he said. "You ever think about becoming a government agent?" "Not really," I said. "I don't think I'd do that well under torture. I'd probably cave within seconds." My honesty impressed him. He handed me his card. "You ever change your mind, ma'am, give me a call."  With that, he disappeared under cover of dark sunglasses. "Hey," I called after him, "don't call me ma'am."

Last night, hubby and I saw a promo for an NBC show called "Crisis," and the memory of what might have been came rushing back.  "We need to lock down the capitol," a CIA gal says, in a serious actressy way.  I looked at hubby. "I can say that line better than she just did." "Give it a shot." "Honey, we need to lock down the capitol."  "Try it again, without the 'honey.'" "Sweetie, we need to lock down the capitol."  "Say it just like this:  'We need to lock down the capitol.'" "Very convincing," I said. For the rest of the evening, we tried out the line with various accents and intonations.  Yiddish, Irish, Scottish.  Texan, Parisian, Sherman Oaks-ian.

Turns out, "We need to lock down the capitol" sounds pretty awesome no matter how you say it. But hubby does it with far more authority.  If he told you to lock down the capitol, you'd do it, no questions asked.  If I told you to lock down the capitol, you'd call the authorities. "Yeah, there's a Short Jewish Gal pretending to be a CIA agent. You should probably lock down the capitol as a precaution.  She looks dangerous." So I guess I still have some work to do before I lock down the capitol. But I'm going to keep trying until I get it right.