Sunday, July 17, 2016

Jewish Angst

Dear SJG,
Jewish Angst. What is it and how do I get some? Two of my friends have enough to power a small planet. I feel left out.
Freakishly Calm
Dear Freaky,
I'm so glad you asked. And a two-parter yet. Even better. Already I'm excited. Jewish Angst is an existential state of mind. A life sentence of constant agitation. A festering clump of mounting complaints. A never-ending search for the right temperature, the right deli, the right doctor, the right --- oh, you get the picture. Jewish Angst is an overdose of the Human Condition. How do you get some? You don't. Jewish Angst is not something you can order online. Jewish Angst doesn't come in a bottle. Jewish Angst is something you're born with, meaning you're genetically predisposed to a lifetime of annoyance, impatience and worry. Go ahead and convert. You still won't get it. Jewish Angst is not something you can catch, like the intestinal flu. There is no shot, no antibiotic, no cure. Consider yourself lucky and move on.
You're welcome,

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