Sunday, July 24, 2016

Motherly Suggestions

A conversation with the eldest as he lounges on the sofa:
"Can I come to work with you tomorrow, honey?"
"I never get to see you do anything other than lay on the couch like the former Banana Slug you are."
"What's your point, Mother?"
"It's been years since I've been Room Mother. Why can't I be Work Mother? It'd be fun to watch you act like a grown up."
"That sounds awkward."
"Awkward?! Why would you say that, my son? Are you trying to hurt me?"
"No. It's just that no one else brings their mother to work."
"You can be the first to start a trend. Plus, there are snacks involved."
"Snacks? Go on."
"I'm thinking adorable little pb&j sandwiches."
"With the crust cuts off?"
"That goes without saying."
"What else would you do?"
"Why, I'd clean up after you, of course. I'm sure your desk is a total pig sty."
"That's hurtful, Mother."
"Am I wrong, my son?"
"No. Keep talking."
"I might make a friendly suggestion or two, like... tuck in your shirt, you look like a slob. That sort of thing."
"You know I never tuck my shirt in."
"It's about time you started."
"So basically, it's Bring Your Mother To Work Day."
"Only better. It's not just a day. Anyone can do a day. A Work Mother stops by as needed."
"With food."
"Bagels. Sushi. Cookies. Anything your heart desires, my son."
"Work Mother, huh? The concept has potential. Let me run it by our social media/marketing team and get back to you."
"I thought you were the social media/marketing team."
"You got me there, Mother."
"This is why you need me to drop by on a regular basis."

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