I Got You Babe

As the self-appointed, unordained rabbi of my writing workshop, I like to the wield my power as much as possible. I've been known to say such tough and controlling things as: "Have another cookie!" "Race you to the elevator!" "Have you people never heard of Spell Check?" Yesterday, I really came on strong. It was the last day of our four-month semester, an arbitrary date I came up with just because I'm in charge, I call the shots, I'm the head honcho, and so I switched things up a bit. Rather than just arranging their cookies on a pretty doily, as I do every week, and watching them fight over the last crumbs, which, just between us, is a little embarrassing, I made them sing for their cookies.

"Enough of this taking me for granted business. I'm a person too, ya know. I may not be as old as you altacockers, but I know what I know. And I know this. It's time to sing! On the count of three... One, two..." "Hang on," said Bruce, overdressed in a suit and tie, fed up with our teasing him for wearing shorts and a baseball cap, but only for the past eight months, "I'm the only guy here." "You're just realizing that?" "No, but do I have sing the guy part all by myself?" "Oh for bleep's sake, yes. Hit it!" Whereupon Bruce pushed something highly technical and the words to "I Got You Babe" magically appeared on the conference room flatscreen. Showtime!

Ladies: They say we're young and we don't know, we won't find out until we grow.
Bruce: Well, I don't know if all that's true, 'cause you got me and baby I got you. Babe...
Everybody: I got you babe. I got you babe...

Well, there's no point in regaling you with the entire song, but I promise you, we sounded pretty great, especially Bruce, with his big booming voice, something he developed during his lengthy tenure with an All Dude Choir. If there's a better way to close out a semester than singing "I Got You Babe," lay it on me, brother. Academically, it's win-win. If only my UCLA Astronomy professor had closed out the quarter with a group medley of '70s hits, who knows, my entire life might've been different. I could be a highly sought-after astronomer right now. But then I never would've met this group of amazing humans. They got me, babe, and vice versa, and at this moment in time, there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb.