Royally Snubbed?

For months, it's been reported by the SJG, Prince William and Duchess Kate's royal consultant on all things Jewish, that she would indeed be invited to the upcoming Royal Wedding of Prince Harry and the lovely Meghan Markle, star of "When Sparks Fly," written by... who else? But tragically, that might be a bunch of self-invented bupkis. "Methinks the invite got lost in transit," she said, in her worst Shakespearean accent. "Either that, or I've been royally snubbed. I'm deeply hurt and humiliated on many levels. I can't figure out what went wrong. Unless I made a big boo-boo regarding Meghan's recent baptism. I kinda misread the announcement and thought it said Bat Mitzvah. Not only did I personally plant a tree in my backyard in her honor, but I also sent a nice, tasteful gift -- a pretty pink yarmulke bedazzled with Mazel Tov! -- and offered the princess-in-training my kugel recipe. I thought it was a classy gesture. Maybe not. And yet, given my close ties with William and Kate and all the things I taught them, pre-wedding, not to mention the Yiddish expressions they've incorporated into their royal lives, I thought for sure I was a shoo-in, not just for the ceremony, but for leading the group hora at the swanky party. But as Grandma Shorty used to say, 'You can't dance at two weddings with one behind.' I think it applies to this scenario. Maybe I'm reaching. It wouldn't be the first time. Bitter about the missing invite? A little. I won't lie. But will it stop me from sending silver Shabbat candle holders with Harry loves Meghan inscribed in Hebrew? Doubtful. I've already purchased them at the Judaica shop on the corner. But I'm debating whether to charge the happy couple for the shipping."