The Quest To Head Off Pollen

Lately I find myself obsessing, once again, over pollen. If I don't obsess over something, then, who am I? Not me, that's who. So why am I obsessing once again over pollen? I'll tell you why. Because in a few weeks, lucky SJG that I am, I'm heading off to NYC where the pollen count is so freaking high, it makes my head explode. After last year's trip, by the time I arrived home in the S.O., I was so sick and pathetic, I had to turn to my allergist, the renowned specialist Dr. Von Drippy, for help. And what did DVD say? He told me that before I go back to NYC, I must head off pollen. "Oh, DVD," said I, "we both know that isn't possible! You know I've been trying to head off pollen my whole life. How many times must I tell you I spent my childhood getting zetzed in the arm, twice weekly, with allergy shots? And DVD, tell me, how did that turn out? Am I still sneezing? Yep. Still afflicted? Hell, yep." At which point, DVD banished me from the office and said, "Lose my number."

It seemed harsher than usual, but I'm over it. This year, I'm going to head off pollen on my own. I don't need no Von Drippy. I've got the Internet. I've already purchased my pink hazmat suit. I plan to fight pollen and make a fashion statement at the same time. So ends my Sunday blog.