Ever since the eldest moved out and the young-est retreated to Santa Cruz, I've been looking for something new to obsess about, and I do believe I've found it. Are the rumors true? Is John Edwards, a disappointing human on many levels, really engaged to that bitch Rielle Hunter? What's going on there? I can't sleep at night. So this morning, I couldn't stand another minute of uncertainty and placed a call to Alan Duncan, Hunter's attorney. "This is the SJG," I said. "Who?" Duncan asked. "Short Jewish Gal, Pulitzer-prize winning blogger and long-time resident of Sherman Oaks." "What can I do for you, ma'am?" "You can tell me if the rumors are true about John and Rielle tying the knot so soon after Elizabeth Edwards died. It's so beyond tacky, I could toss my matzo brei." "Promise to keep to it yourself?" "Abso-tively." "You won't blog about this?" "Hell, no." "Alright. I do not believe it to be true." "Even though The National Enquirer said Edwards proposed, you're saying it's total b.s.?" "I believe I've answered your question, Short Jewish Gal." "Please, call me SJG." "I'm hanging up now, SJG." So there you have it. Edwards and Hunter are NOT engaged. Until, of course, they hire me as their personal wedding consultant. And when that happens, you'll be the first to know.
No comments:
Post a Comment