A Guide To Women

We're really not that hard to figure out

The following Hormone Guide is another anonymous gem: "Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands.  This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other."
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:  Are you wearing that?
SAFER: You sure look good in brown!
SAFEST:  WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.