Tiger Vs. Chicken Soup

One day, you'll play the violin and
get straight A's, or else

The Chinese Mother: "Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable — even legally actionable — to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, 'Hey fatty — lose some weight.' By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of 'health' and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image."-- Amy Chua, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother"
The Jewish Mother:  A lot of people wonder how Jewish mothers manage to raise such hilarious and entertaining kids, even though they're imperfect, use the f-word, never edit themselves, chew with their mouths open, refuse to write thank you notes for gifts under $1,000 and never make their own beds.
They wonder how Jewish mothers turn out such nice kids, even though they'd rather play video games than visit with their grandparents.  They wonder how Jewish mothers can stand to be in the same room with kids who hate math, can't master a foreign language, and love sports more than anything -- except their mothers. A lot of people envy Jewish mothers, because their kids hug and kiss them constantly, no matter how many times they've been called out for expelling gas at the dinner table.  A sign in my kitchen says, "No farting zone." Yes, a lot of people want to know how to obtain such astonishing parental sechel. For inspiration, the SJG presents you with a short list of some of the reckless things my sons have been allowed to do (and they're still talking to me, thriving as individuals and have no criminals records, kina hora):
- attend a sleepover as long as no one in that house had anything contagious
- have a play date as long as it wasn't at my house
- eat whatever they wanted, as long as they promised to let me clean up after them
- kvetch and kvetch some more, because it's an important life skill
- watch hours of TV as long as they reenacted the funny parts for me, with puppets

- choose their own extracurricular activities, with the exception of pole vaulting, skydiving and stock car racing

- get any grade that didn't get them kicked out of school

- excel in defeat and humility

- play any instrument I could schlep in my car, transport via U-haul or helicopter

- make their own decisions with a little help from me

A cup or two daily. It couldn't hurt