Those Lips, Those Eyes

The SJG's instant temperature read on the premiere of "American Idol":  Well-done!  I couldn't quite believe it.  I expected disaster.  I was banking on it.  But Steven Tyler's crazy elastic face, moppy hair, oogly eyes and gigantor inflatable lips add up to refreshing, unforeseen hilarity.  The dude from Aerosmith knows his sh*t.  He took the lead judge's position early on and ran with it.  Randy, the Dawg, at least at this stage, just doesn't bring leadership to the table.  His routine needs a major reboot.  I hear he gets tougher later on, which I hope is true, because as of now, he's dullsville and defers to the others.  J.Lo is far more likable and less diva-ish than I anticipated.  It really pained her to say no. As we say at SJG Institute of Snap Judgment, I look forward to watching her evolve.  Last night's contestants remain a blur, although I loved Tiffany Rios, the Snooki girl with the silver stars on her ta-tas.  She is definitely the one to hate if she makes it through Hollywood Week.  The Japanese girlish guy who sang "Party in the USA" made me scream with laughter, as did Achille Lovle, the Ivory Coast gal who sang "Dress You Up in My Love."