A Word About Curves

Nice that the clothing industry has finally acknowledged the booty.  Now there are variations of curvy jeans:  demi curve and bold curve.  Yet it's still a little too polite for my liking, all these pseudo ways to ask: How big is your ass, gals?  I spent two days trying on so many curvy jeans I nearly lost my sh*t in Macy's.  If the jean makers really want to make my jean shopping less agonizing, they need to break it down beyond demi and bold.  Give me:  Big Booty Jeans for Short Jewish Gals with Sway Backs.  Give me:  Jeans That Don't Make Your Booty Look Even Bigger Than It Is.  Don't give me:  Curvy Skinny Jeans.  Does this body type even exist?  Just call it like it is, folks.  Attach a note:  "Listen, booty gals, we know you want to look hip, and you've got the hips to prove it, so we've come up with a misleading category to make you feel good about your giant tush.   Just between us, you're going to look silly in these jeans, so don't waste your time.  Go back to Boot Cut, where you booty gals belong.  Leave the skinny jeans for the skinny gals who can pull this off without shaming their families."  Well, I feel better now that I got that off my butt.