That's Me In The Front Row

"What's wrong with her?"  "She thinks she's at the Emmys."

"Why are you clapping?" the college boy asks.
"I always clap for the one I want to win," I say.
"Why?"
"Because it's more fun."
"More fun than what?"
"Not clapping."
"What difference does it make?"
"It makes a difference to me."
"Why?"
"Because it's rude not to clap."
"Even when you're not there?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You're not at the Emmys, Mom."
"Yes, I am."
"No, you're not."
"Am too."
"You're scaring me."
"Why?"
"Because you're not at at the Emmys."
"Yes, I am."
"You're not, Mom. Trust me."
"I like to pretend I'm at the Emmys."
"Why?"
"Because it's more fun."
"Even when you're not there?"
"I am there.  See me?  I'm right there in the front row, between Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban."
"You're freaking me out."
"Why?"
"Because you're not at the Emmys."
"Go to your room."
"Why?"
"Because I said so."