Last night, the SJG traveled to parts unknown for a taste of culture. "This is so much like going to the theater in New York," I said to Carrie. She played along with me because she's a very nice person, and she was grateful I'd agreed to come. As she'd pointed out in an email, her husband would rather "stick pins in his eyes" than accompany her on this particular outing. So naturally, she called on me, a theater-loving ho'. We stood before the Park n' Pay machine, baffled. "They've eliminated humans," I said, starting to cry. "It's so sad." "Pull yourself together," Carrie said. "We have some decisions to make." Indeed, we did. The machine gave us several intriguing choices. We could pay $3 for two hours or $11 for all day. "No offense, Carrie, but I hadn't planned on spending the night here." "I have an 8 a.m. appointment with a new dentist," she said. "In Woodland Hills. I need to be out of here before then." We went with the all-day fee, which made no sense, but something told us we'd be here longer than two hours. Even though Carrie had promised me that the lengthy Chekhovian four-act play we were about to see had been condensed to 100 minutes, I'm not sure either one of us believed it. "Hey, this place looks familiar," I told her, as we walked toward the James Bridges Theater on campus. "I wonder why." At first I drew a blank, but then it came to me. "Got it! I went to UCLA!" We took our seats and settled in for a reading of "The Seagull." Out came some very attractive actors, including Calista Flockhart, a personal fav, and T.R. Knight of "Grey's Anatomy," (he played George, who got run over by a bus) and many other fine-looking thespians. There are a lot of characters in "The Seagull," a lot of talking, too. The actors sat on stools, stood up and said lines, and sat down again. It was all being recorded for the radio. A ha! No wonder there were no sets! Throughout the evening, I whispered to Carrie, "I have no idea what's going on, but I love it."