Sunday, May 12, 2013

Better Not To Know

Mid-70's, with Mom.  At some point, she gave me this funky
kaftan and I started wearing it.  She was always giving me things.
You never know, you know?  And maybe that's a good thing.  Because if you knew, you wouldn't want to know.  You'll find out soon enough, anyway.  Better not to know.  Much better.  Because if you knew, you'd want to change what you can't.  In fiction, you can.  But not in real life. Real life doesn't work that way.  So.  Better not to know.  Better to enjoy the time you have together while you're having it.  If only you were that smart.  If only you could hit pause and freeze the moment forever.  But you can't.  You're too busy living to remember to hit pause. But that's okay.  Later, you'll remember.  Later, you'll remember all the details, all the laughs you shared, and how silly you got talking on the phone together.  You'll remember the last time you said, "Bye, Mom. Love you. Talk to you tomorrow."  You'll remember that and more.  You never know, you know?  And maybe that's a good thing.  Because if you knew, you wouldn't want to know.  So.  Better not to know.  Much better.

4 comments:

  1. Sad. And true. I have learned, this time around, that every day is extraordinary, that bad things happen and often unexpectedly, and that all one can do is pay attention, drink it in, and never take it for granted. I hope your sons know as much. They, too, have a very special Mom.

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