(Sherman Oaks) The next mayor of the humble abode she occupies with various members of her family, a fluctuating number that depends on who's still in college and who broke her heart and moved out after college, will be the Short Jewish Gal. In a tight race in which the two top contenders were both equal-opportunity banana-lovers, the 55-year-old SJG, a UCLA graduate, took a narrow lead over the 11-year-old Dusty, a poorly-trained canine. Early this morning, the disappointed dog conceded the race by furiously barking at the SJG, which, as usual, she took personally. Why should today be any different? Soon after, the SJG blogged her thanks to her hubby, her gardener, and several imaginary live-in friends whose votes pushed her to victory. "Thanks, guys -- and now the hard work begins. Do I make dinner tonight or order take-out? Do I do the laundry this morning, or wait till the afternoon? Do I forgive the young man in college who voted for the dog instead of his own mother, or guilt him till the end of time? These are the tough decisions I face as mayor. But you won't find me sweeping dog hair under the rug, like some other candidates who went down to defeat. I'm going to clean up this mess, starting with the dirty plates in the sink. Seriously, is it that difficult to put stuff in the dishwasher? Resentment aside, I'm honored to lead this house for the next four years. Let's make this place livable again."
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