Why, Guacamole? Why?

Why. guacamole?  Why?  Why must you be so yummy, guacamole?  So tasty?  So delish?  Why, guacamole?  Why?  Why did hubby bring a platter of you home on Cinco de Mayo?  Because you were there, guacamole.  That's why. Still, I asked him:  Why, hubby?  Why?  Why did you do this me?  You know I have no self-control when it comes to guacamole!  Why, hubby? Why?  Why didn't you leave the extra platter at work, where it belonged?  Why did you bring temptation into the house?  Surrounded by chips?  And not just any chips.  Homemade chips.  Why, guacamole?  Why?  Why not fresh fruit?  Why not carrots?  Why not cucumbers?  Why not, God forbid, quinoa?  Those, I could've resisted, easily.  Those, I could've nibbled on, briefly, without losing complete self-control.  Why, guacamole?  Why?  Why must you be so yummy, guacamole?  So tasty?  So delish?  I'll tell you why, guacamole.  I'll tell you why, right now, guacamole.  Because if you didn't make me lose my mind, you'd be something else.  You'd be a platter of freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies, and then, guacamole, only then, would it be even harder to resist you.