Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Hello, It's Me

Dear New York City,
Hi, it's me again. The SJG. Every year right around this time, we have a long talk about the weather, and you completely ignore my requests. I'm still a little resentful, but even so, I thought I'd give it another try before I arrive in your city that never sleeps and never removes scaffolding. Once again, I'd like to remind you that precipitation makes for a soggy, cranky SJG. So, NYC, please, for once, would you just listen to me? I give so much and ask for so little. I don't need a parade down Broadway to welcome me, although it would be nice. I understand that's hard to coordinate. I don't need your permission to get up on stage and dance. I'm doing it with or without your blessing. All I need is five days, rain-free. Five freakin' days. Can you do that for me, NYC? Can you put your own selfish needs aside, just once? What must I do to make this happen? Is some sort of payment involved? Do you take VISA, American Express, the SJG Gold Card? Just tell me, NYC. Must I pay in full or can we do this monthly? What sort of interest are we talking? Come on, NYC. Don't be chintzy with the info. You've got four days to get your sh*t together. I anxiously await your reply.
King Kong Hugs,

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