Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Hurtful Met Gala Snub

I would've looked so good in this outfit.

Dear Met Gala,
I'm hurt. So hurt. Do you have any idea how hurt I am? I'm about to tell you. I asked you people to wait for me. Just wait a few weeks. I told you I'd be in New York in two weeks. I told you I could attend the Met Gala, as God intended. But did you wait for me, Fashion Icon of Sherman Oaks? No, you did not. You went ahead without me. The fact that you never even sent an invite to Fashion's Biggest Night hurts even more. What does an International Blogging Sensation such as myself have to do to get your attention? I demand to know what up with the epic snub? The only way to make it up to me is to re-stage the whole shebang in two weeks. You heard me. I want a Do-Over. Just get the whole Manus vs Machina gang back together. How hard would it be? Get busy, Met People.
Awaiting your reply,

I could've been a high fashion/heavy metal robot server, too.

Dear SJG,
We received your application to serve hors d'oeuvres at the Met Gala, but have been too busy to respond until now. We had a big party last night and we're really tired. The reason we didn't bother to answer your ridiculous request in the months leading up to our event may have something to do with your "resumski," as you called it. As far as we could tell, you have zero experience serving hors d'oeuvres to famous people. In fact, you've never catered to famous people in any professional, or unprofessional capacity. A robot would've done 18 times better than you. We told you last year and now we'll tell you again. Please don't contact us again.
Met Gala

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