Mother Knows Best

In honor of Mother's Day, during which I'll be en route to NYC, I thought I'd honor myself with some of the wonderful things I've said, and haven't said, as a mother in the past 29 years to my two amazing sons. You get to guess which are real and which are fake.

1. "Turn it down."
2. "I knew you'd get into Yale."
3. "This is called a dishwasher."
4. "Playing video games all day will attract the ladies."
5.  "As long as you're okay."
6.  "I love your new tattoo."
7.  "This is called a washing machine."
8.  "Daddy and I bought you a Porsche for graduation."
9.  "It's called a Stop Sign for a reason."
10. "Who farted in the kitchen?"