Friday, May 5, 2017

Why So Festive?

Dear SJG,
I woke up this morning in a festive mood, which is unusual for me. All I want to do today is nosh on guacamole and chips, sip margaritas, wear my most fetching poncho and don my biggest sombrero. What's wrong with me? Should I see a doctor? Or crash a fiesta?
Concerned in Calabasas
Dear Concerned,
Forget the doctor and let me guide you, out of pocket. What's wrong with you? So much, but let me zero in on the main issue: You forgot that April is a short month and neglected to advance the date on the little box on your Zirconium-encrusted, knock-off Cartier. To you, it's only May 4th. But check again, silly. It's May 5th, or if you prefer, Cinco de Mayo. On this day, we lose all control, eat salty things that may permanently bloat us and wear colorful clothing that we can't quite pull off, but who cares, we're drunk off our asses, anyway. So for once in your life, enjoy the indulgence. Invite yourself to a fiesta, cuz clearly, no one's invited you! Tomorrow you can go back to being a calorie-deprived sour punim.
You're Welcome,

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