Let's Get Ready To Tumble

This morning, an important text arrived from the youngest, a text that completely validates the SJG: Motherhood Edition. Let's analyze line by line, shall we? What, you've got something better to do? Come on, gang. Grab a cup of joe, and let's get started.

1. "You'll be happy to know I did the laundry here yesterday."
Analysis: Boy, does he get me. To take the time to think about his mummy's personal happiness, and use laundry as a metaphor? Does it get any better than this?
2. "It's nowhere near as glamorous as our Sherman Oaks laundromat."
Analysis: Boy, does he get me. He knows how hard I've worked to glam up the laundry zone at the palatial estate, what with the newly-installed cappuccino maker, the personalized settings, the well-paid Personal Frother. A clever maternal trap to lure my sons over on Sundays? You betcha. So what if he took one Sunday off to celebrate his girlfriend's birthday. Trust me, next Sunday, he'll be back.

3. "I removed someone's stuff from the wash because it was done and then she confronted me, angrily. 'Oh, so you're the one who moved it, you bastard.' I did my best not to cry, but it hurt my feelings. I don't like meanies."
Analysis: Boy, oh boy. Like I always say, the bagel doesn't fall far from the deli counter.