The Heartbreak of Celebrity Splitsville

The news that Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are kaput after, what, two and a half years of marriage, has hit the SJG hard. I'm walking around the palatial estate in a daze, mumbling to myself, why, why, why? This morning, hubby expressed his concern.
"What's wrong now?"
"I think he called it off."
"He who?"
"You know who."
"Oh, him."
"Yes, him. Justin Thereoux of the leather jackets and the sexy stare and the mysterious eyebrows."

A man of many eyebrows

"How do you know he called it off?"
"Just a hunch."
"You were reading People again, weren't you?"
"Maybe."
"I thought you were doing a Celebrity News Detox."
"Whoever gave you that idea?"
"You."
"When?"
"Last night you said, 'I'm so done with these celebrities and their short-lived marriages and all their mishegas. Why can't they be happy like the rest of us?' "
"Oh, honey."
"What?"
"That may be the first time you've ever quoted me accurately."
"I was listening. I know how much you wanted it to work out for them."
"I really did."
"Jen and Justin gave you hope."
"You get me."
"Well, we've been married a long time."
"Does that mean from this point on, you'll always quote me accurately?"
"What's that line you always quote from that old movie?"
" 'Oh, Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars'? "
"Who talks like that?"
"Bette Davis in 'Now, Voyager.'"
"Let's not talk like Bette Davis."
"Why'd you bring it up then?"
"I wanted to give you a way to end your blog."
"You think of everything."