Celebration Expiration

Says who?

Dear Short Jewish Personage,
It has come to our attention at the Bureau of Birthdays -- what? you didn't know such a place existed? -- that you continue to milk your 60th birthday in ways that strike us as less than humble. We've been notified that just yesterday, you were spotted in a Studio City restaurant full of beautiful, slim, quinoa/gluten free-types, blowing out a candle on a free scoop of ice cream, God only knows what it was made of, but still, have you no shame? Your birthday has hit its expiration date, Missy. It's over. It's time to step aside and let others get the free slice of cake, the scoop of ice cream, the "many more" of the standard birthday equation. Get over yourself. Just remember, we're watching you.
Sincerely,
The Bureau of Birthdays

Dear Bureau of Birthdays,
I've got one more celebration of my birth on Sunday. And another in two weeks. You people don't scare me.
Bring it on,
The SJG