You may not know this about me, for it's a fairly recent development, and just between us, the results have been iffy, so far, but in the past two seconds, I put on different glasses. They aren't terribly fashionable, these computer glasses, and as everyone knows, the SJG is all about the fashion. In fact, I'd be happy if no one but Sir Blakey and longtime hubby, who adores me, flat hair and all, ever sees me in these particular specs. Still, in terms of visionary improvement, I remain moderately hopeful. Of course, moderate hopefulness is my main modus-O these days. I just can't seem to muster full-on hopefulness, what with the state o' the world. But thanks to the following sales spiel, maybe I'll get there some day.
"They'll help with eye strain," the nice optometrist said.
"Will they help with life strain?" I asked her.
"No."
"Blunt, but honest. Go on. Woo me."
"There's an anti-reflective coating."
"To stop me from reflecting on things I'd rather not reflect on?"
"No. To eliminate reflections of light on your lenses that can cause eye strain."
"Again with the eye strain. What else you got?"
"Anti-glare treatment."
"To stop me from -- "
"I have another customer waiting."
"How much for the game-changing computer glasses?"
"More than your insurance will pay for."
"Sold."
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