Questionable Behavior

Why did the SJG cross the road? Let's go right to the source and ask her. But be forewarned. She's a little cranky this morning. "Why did I cross the road? Not that it's any of your business. But fine, I'll tell why, but you might not approve. I crossed the road to get to the other trash can, the black one, not the green one, a trash can located on a street where I don't reside. I did it and I'd do it again. I had one objective: to toss Sir Blakey's doo-doo deposit. Does this make me a bad person? I'll leave it up to you to decide. But the way I see it, if you're going to leave your trash can out on a non-trash day, it's on you, buddy. We're talking fair game. Sure, I could've dangled the doody bag from my pinky till the Royal Rescue Pup (of questionable lineage) and I got home. Sure, I could've dumped it in my own dang trash can. But listen. Now and then, I like to live to on the edge. As everyone knows, by nature, I'm a gambler. I like to task risks. Small, inconsequential risks. So, if we're done with the interrogation, shalom to you an yours."