The Coffee Pot Stops For No One

A Short Jewish coffee thief was spotted this morning in the kitchen of a home in Sherman Oaks, stealing a cup of java before the coffee had even finished brewing. "She does this every morning," said an anonymous hubby. "Why she can't wait till the coffee's done, like normal people, I can't tell you." The anonymous hubby described how the impatient coffee thief manages this daily crime: The coffee maker has barely started up and there she is, complaining about a sinus headache, wielding her coffee mug and mumbling, "Coffee, need coffee, must have coffee."

Oh, and it's not just any mug, according to the anonymous hubby. "It must be a pretty one. She hates the plain beige mug. She says it doesn't work for her. She needs the nice one with the green glaze." He went on to say that the Short Jewish coffee thief honestly thinks the coffee will stop brewing long enough for her to snatch her first morning jolt of caffeine. But it just keeps brewin', it just keeps brewin' along. The coffee pot stops for no one, not even the Short Jewish coffee thief, despite what the owner's manual says.