SJG Rebrands

(Sherman Oaks) The Short Jewish Gal, a self-proclaimed international blogging sensation, has decided to make a bold marketing move that may or may not send keppies spinning like a demonic dreidel. "I've given myself a promotion to goddess. You heard me. From now on, SJG will stand for Short Jewish Goddess. It's about time someone worships me. As I remind longtime hubby on a daily basis, I have many goddess-like qualities. You want examples? Examples you'll get. I'm the embodiment of peacefulness, especially when I'm napping around 4 p.m. on the sofa. You want serenity? Stop by. I'm nothing if not serene. Ask anyone, especially if they're not related to me. Oh, you want to talk purity? If I'm not the symbol of purity, who is? That fact that I swear like a truck driver is besides the point. What else makes me a goddess? How much time have you got? The fact that I represent neurotic women, globally, certainly qualifies me for the title. I give meshuggies everywhere hope, and if that's not something to brag about, I'll eat an untoasted bagel. So, there. I've sent in my application in for a name change, and once it's approved by the powers-that-be, I'll be the Short Jewish Goddess. Why? I'll tell you why. Because I said so."