The Return of the Rapper

Desperately Seeking Renee

I expected the college boy to come home bearded and shaggy.  He came home shaggy and beardless.  He didn't shave for me, though.  He shaved for Renee, president and CEO of the SJG Beauty Team.  Her duties, for which she is paid handsome-ly, include the haircare needs of my sons.  Turns out, Renee has more power over the college boy than the SJG.  "Tell Scotty I don't want to see him with a beard," she informed me, while attending to my baby fine follicles last week.  "It will upset me." 
Upsetting Renee: bad idea.  She yields the scissors.  Best to keep her happy.  So I passed it along to Scott-D, the Jewish Rapper from Sherman Oaks, before he departed Santa Cruz.  "Renee isn't happy about the beard."  He came home looking like a mensch, one in desperate need of a snip-snip here, a snip-snip there.  On the way to Renee, I filled him in on the neighborhood changes.  Borders in Sherman Oaks:  gone.  This saddens us both, profoundly.  We spent much time there together, and take it as a personal affront.  We might sue for emotional damages.  Driving down Ventura, we passed a new burger place that's causing near-riots in Studio City:  Umami.  People line up down the street.  Obviously, my sons will never eat there.  We've raised them to never line up for anything.  It's our family credo.  On the right, up came Urban Outfitters, reminding Scotty of when the old man's car flew through the window while he shopped there, back in October, with his now ex-GF. Let's just say, it's been a rough couple months.  Hence the beard.  But now, the beard is gone and he's in better spirits.  I'm pretty sure Renee set him straight, but I'm not allowed to ask.  Hairdresser-client privileges, and all that.