The Royal Yarmulke

Put the hammer down, Charles.  It's all good!

With the Royal Wedding ever-so-soon, the SJG is proud to announce two important hires:  my sons will carry my veil, whether they like it or not, as I walk down the aisle to the special throne reserved just for me.  I fully expect to be seated between Elton John and Kanye.  If not, I may throw a royal tantrum.  You have no idea how hard it's been teaching Prince William a bissel Yiddish.  His "ch" and "ts" sounds are a shanda, people.  Nothing but tsouris for the SJG.  Plus, groomy's a little sensitive about his receding hairline and bald spot.  Quite the touchy subject among those of us intimately involved in the Big Freakin' Day, or BFD, as we insiders like to call it.  Not to worry.  Once again, the SJG has solved another royal headache.  Found a handsome yarmulke to boost his pride, cover his keppy, and signal his conversion to Judaism with subtly and grace.