Suspicious Minds

Mr. Distrustful

The minute I walked in, Dusty went detective on me.  He started circling.  He had a few questions.  "Where have you been?" he asked.  "At lunch with Helen," I said.  Dusty came closer and started sniffing.  "Anyone else?"  "No, just Helen."  He zeroed in on a stray dog hair, lingering on my black skirt.  "What's this?"  I played dumb. "What's what?" " This!  It's not my hair."  "Of course it is."  "Hello?  I'm a yellow lab."  "I've noticed."  "This dog hair is white!"  Busted.  "What's your point?"  "You've been hanging out with another dog, haven't you?"  "Maybe." "Don't lie to me."  "Fine."  "Who is he?"  "His name is Walter.  He's a golden retriever.  His hair is ivory."  "An ivory golden.  You expect me to believe that?"  "It's the truth.  I swear.  He's just a puppy.  Helen's new puppy."  "Did you play with him?"  "A little.  I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself.  He's so cute!  But he's crazy.  First he slammed me against the door, then the cabinet, and then the umbrella stand.  He likes it ruff.  Get it?"  "Ha ha.  The point is, you played with another dog."  "I only played with him because he reminded me of you, when you were a puppy."  Dusty sniffed a few more times.  "In my heart, I'm still a puppy."  "Tell me something I don't know."  "So, are you going to see him again?"  "Not unless I'm wearing protective gear."