Carlinisms

Whenever I see a weird sign, or hear a quirky use of the English language, I immediately think of George Carlin.

"The term Jumbo Shrimp has always amazed me. What is a Jumbo Shrimp? I mean, it's like Military Intelligence - the words don't go together, man."

Whenever I board a plane, I think of George, too.

"To begin their boarding process, the airline announces they will preboard certain passengers. And I wonder, How can that be? How can people board before they board?” Later: “I’m told to get on the plane. ... And I think for a moment: ‘On the plane? No, my friends, not me. I’m not getting on the plane; I’m getting in the plane. Let Evil Knievel get on the plane, I’ll be sitting inside one of those little chairs. It seems less windy to me.’"

"Don't press your luck, George."

So the other day, when I saw a sign that said, "HAND IRONING," I immediately thought...

That sounds painful.