Friday, March 1, 2013

House Arrest

My Personal March Madness:  The Great License Plate Disaster rolls into next week, as the Bellflower criminal courthouse tries to resolve what appears to be a clerical error on their part, or as the SJG prefers to call it, A Ginormous Bureaucratic Eff-Up.  Meanwhile, I'm deeply touched by everyone's concern.  Many of you have wondered where I'll be serving my sentence for questioning authority, getting all huffy and playing the "don't you know who I am?" card, to absolutely no avail.  Where to send the cake with the file?  How much bail money do I need?  Well, here's your answer, my friends.  Send money, as much as you can, and a nice coffee cake, sans file, a warm, yummy kugel, a dozen bagels from Nat n' Als, a pound of lox, and a few bottles of Lafete Rothchild, care of the SJG, Sherman Oaks.  I'm under self-imposed house arrest.  I'm too afraid to venture out in my auto.  The thought of getting pulled over again by the cops and falsely accused of criminal behavior, not to mention the biggest shanda of them all, unpaid parking tickets, has sent me into seclusion. Drop by any time.  I'm not leaving the house.  Ever again.


  1. I go away for 2 days and look what happens! Reminds me of when I called my insurance company when I got a new car back in 1994. They took my driver's license number and checked it, then told me there was no record of my license in the DMV system! I had to go to the DMV and work it out with them. They just said, "Oh, looks like this didn't transmit to Sacramento," like it happens all the time. Can you imagine if I'd been pulled over by the police?! They'd have accused me of driving on a fake license!! I don't even want to know what that would have been like. Best of luck to you in your efforts to extract yourself from the criminal world!

  2. What a world! I'll send updates from Sing Sing.

  3. Hеllο just wanted to giνe you a quісk heads up anԁ let
    you know а fеw of the images arеn't loading properly. I'm not sure whу but Ι think its a
    linking iѕsuе. I've tried it in two different web browsers and both show the same results.

    Feel free to visit my web blog ... chemietoilette