Saturday, March 9, 2013

Heel Thyself

My feet are killing me.  
"Hi, SJG.  It's SJP."
"Hey, gal.  How's it goin'?"
"Not so good."
"And you called me to kvetch?  I'm touched."
"I've having some issues."
"Issues?  I'm all about issues, hon.  Spill it."
"For ten or so years, I literally ran in heels."
"I literally have never tried that."
"I worked 18-hour days and never took them off."
"Oy.  It hurts just to think about it.  But you looked good doing it, and that's all that matters."
"I wore beautiful shoes, some better made than others, and never complained."
"I live to complain.  Maybe if you complained more, you'd feel better."
"I'm not a complainer."
"You can learn, SJP.  I'll help you."
"I'd like that, SJG."
"I'm here for you, gal.  So tell me, what made you sour on those killer stilettos?"
"I did a crappy movie called I Don’t Know How She Does It."
"It was awful.  Way to ruin a great book."
"I didn't think my character could afford really good footwear.  So I got cheap-ass shoes and the bottoms weren’t leather.  They were plastic."
"Silly SJP.  Have I taught you nothing?  You need to set some boundaries, gal."
"I wish I'd consulted you sooner.  I kept slipping, I twisted my ankle.  I went to a foot doctor and he said, 'SJP, your foot is seriously eff'd up.'"
"Not to mention that movie you made.  Oh, my gawd, it was bad."
"Don't remind me."
"You brought it up."
"I'm done with heels, unless they're outrageously expensive."
"No more shopping at Payless?"
"It's Manolo or nothing."
"Listen, hon, it's important to take a stand, even if it falls a little flat."
"That's what I'm doing.  It's my PSA to fashion."
"Well, you don't have to worry about me, SJP.  I keep my heels low, like my expectations."
"Good for you!"
"Nice talking to you, SJP.  Call me anytime you need to vent."
"You keep me grounded, SJG."
"If not me then who?"

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