Outdated

Her home was as outdated as her hair.

Home-makeover design show junky that I am, the SJG likes to know what's obsolete and what's hip and happening, style-wise.  According to a semi-recent article in the Washington Post...

mauve is a no-no. Oh well, there goes my entire bedroom, a veritable ode to mauviness.  Bright Oriental rugs?  Very bad.  Muted is in.  Does that include my muted Oriental rug with touches of mauve?  And what's this you say about vivid tiles?  Those are outdated, too?  Great.  Does that mean the peppy Mexican tiles on my stairs need to go?  No problema.  I'll just rip them out myself.  Be right back.  Wow, that was harder than I expected.  Anything else I should remove?  Valances?  Naturally, I have one in my bedroom.  It's my mother-in-law's fault.  "You need a valance," she said, when we moved in, 12 years ago.  So basically, what you're telling me, you outdated Washington Post article, is that I need to remodel my entire house.  I'll get right on it.  How much could it cost?  I'm sure hubby, the original do-it-yourselfer, will endorse my little project. The man installed a sink.  By himself.  Remember that?  Give me a second.  Okay, it's all coming back to me now.  The injuries.  The band-aids.  The goggles.  The electric saw.  Maybe I'll just keep things "as is."  I'm fine with outdated.  At this stage, I'm plenty outdated, myself.  I could use a complete upgrade, too, but you don't see me running out, looking for replacement parts, do you?  Of course not.  That would make me so shallow.  Although, if you happen to know where I might find a new set of sinuses, please contact me, immediately.