Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The Great License Plate Disaster: Redemption

"Bellflower Courthouse."
"Hi, can I speak with the supervisor?"
"Name please."
"The Short Jewish Gal."
"Hello, this is Kim."
"Hi, Kim.  I spoke with the D.A. and -- "
"Oh, is this about the license plate thing?"
"You loaned your car to (Insert Made Up Name)?"
"No.  I never loaned my car to (Insert Made Up Name).   I don't know (Insert Made Up Name.) My license plates were never stolen.  I've never been to Bellflower."
"Okay.  Just FAX us your registration and we'll take care of it."
"Unless you'd rather drive here.  It's kinda far though."
"Faxing works for me."
"Include a statement that you never met (Insert Made Up Name).  Or loaned him your car.  And that you've been pulled over by the police.  We'll clear it up today."
"Oh.  My.  God.  Thank you, Kim.  Thank.  You."
"You're welcome."
"I feel liberated.  Reborn.  Like a free man in Paris."
"Okay, good."
"Unfettered and alive.  Nobody calling me up for  -- Kim?  Hello?"

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